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Luna Lovegood Luna Lovegood

and the Watch of Doom and the Watch of Doom

Page 69

by

James E. Pettis

Chapter Six

Detection

Chapter Six:  Detection
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  • Tell me all the things you don’t like about the graphic!

Xenophilius was once again wearing the Invisibility Cloak and once again relying upon Luna to clear his way.  After returning to the reception area she retrieved her shoes and then punched the elevator call button.  Because of its refusal to stop at the thirteenth floor unless no other level had been selected, the elevator was empty when they entered.

The doors closed and Xenophilius was free to speak.  “We’ll go to Finsbury Circus1 to eat dinner,” he instructed.  “I can remove my cloak in the public washroom.  Just take a left at Great Winchester.  I’ll guide you to the park by hand.”

Just then the elevator opened, and three people wearing business attire entered the compartment.  Xenophilius backed into a corner, his hands on Luna’s shoulders guiding her to stand in front of him.  The elevator returned to the ground floor without any further stops.  A relieved sigh escaped Luna’s lips as the doors opened.

Please leave a critical comment!
Some of my concerns:
  • Is there a better phrase than “clear his way” in the first sentence?
  • Is the first paragraph clear?
  • Is the third paragraph clear?
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